Writing

In literacy for the first 20 minutes we do visual writing I today wrote a peace about a solder and really wanted to show you guys so here is my work.

These are my two goals to go with my work 

1.Write sentences that are grammatically correct 

2.Use a variety of sentence structures, beginning and lengths to give effect.

War is a sad time lots of death and sadness and loss. In the field there is never silence there is always bombs and gun shots going off. It was my first step onto the field and all I see is people collapsing onto the ground with gun shots and blood oozing out of the dead bodys and blood camouflaging into the bright red beautiful poppies. As i help up my friend Max someone starts shooting straight at us and I cover over Max protecting him from the shooting and a suddenly feel a shooting pain going right through my back all the things I've ever done or ever seen flashed through my head as the memories flode through I collapse to the ground.

War is a sad time lots of death and sadness and loss. In the field there is never silence there is always bombs and gun shots going off. It was my first step onto the field and all I see is people collapsing onto the ground with gun shots and blood oozing out of the dead body's and blood camouflaging into the bright red beautiful poppies. As i help up my friend Max someone starts shooting straight at us and I cover over Max protecting him from the shooting and a suddenly feel a shooting pain going right through my back all the things I've ever done or ever seen flashed through my head as the memories flood through I collapse to the ground.